Oblig 5 Treatment

Our new assignment is to write a treatment to a 3d animated short story using the three act story structure to best reveal your story idea.

Our first day at school working on this assignment I weren't able to come up with anything, it was first when I went to bed and was close to falling asleep I came up with my idea of an person, Alfred, who had problems waking up in the mornings without coffee, and this specific day he had no more coffee, and his search for it begins. In the end he weren't able to get his coffee and fell asleep at work, and got fired because of it.

When we got split into groups to make our treatments into storyboards I got told I needed to change the ending as Alfred never went through any character changes, his day started out bad and it ended worse, so I needed to change it to something better, were Alfred becomes the hero. My group and I went together and brainstormed a lot of ideas, and in the end we came up with a new ending. All I needed to do now was to write down the idea in my own words and I should be close to done.

Here's my treatment, enjoy!

The alarm on the dresser goes off and ALFRED starts to move restlessly under his blanket. He throws his arm from under the blanket and slams it on the alarm clock to stop it. He then slowly retreats under the blanket again. First he is quite, but then he starts to move restlessly again before throwing his blanket off and sits up. He sits there, not moving except his eyes which he is struggling with to keep open. He grabs is alarm clock and looks at it. In big letters it says “job” on it. Alfred stands up and walks out of the bedroom, dragging his feet along.

He walks into the kitchen and opens the cupboard, he takes out the box with coffee and tips it over the coffee mug, but nothing comes out. He looks into the box and gets a shocked face when he realizes his out of coffee. He quickly searches the cupboard, throwing out trivial items out of it in his search.  He stops up, his arms fall down to his sides and he gets a sleepy look in his face. Suddenly he wakes up as if he realist something, he looks out of his window and over to his neighbors’ house, his face lights up and he rushes out without getting properly dressed.

He runs to his neighbors’ houses, knocking and ringing on the doors, but no one answers, everybody already gone to work. At the last door after knocking a few times his arms sinks down to his sides and his eyes starts to close, but then he remembers something. He turns around and spots the local store that is visible in the background, but it has been out of focus until now, and runs over to it. He runs straight into the automatic doors and bounces back into the ground. Surprised he gets up, first no looking a bit more awake. He looks at the big sign that shows the opening times and then looks at his watch. The shop should have been opened for almost 20 minutes ago now. He goes up to the door and knocks at it and looks inside, no one’s there. Angry he steps away from the door and looks at his watch again and realizes he’s late for his work, and heads home to get dressed.

Inside of the local store, a long line has assembled in front of the cash register. The camera moves up along the line, before we get a glimpse of the register an old lady leans over to see what the holdup is, and blocks the view of the camera for a bit longer, when the old lady goes back to her spot in the line, while shaking her head, we spots Alfred sleeping by the register. Suddenly a lady in front of the line looks over to the entrance to the shop and screams, in the door a robber enters, the customers throws themselves to the floor and Alfred that sleeps by the register comes visible to the robber and he heads over to him. The robber slams his hand on the desk in front of Alfred and demands him to give him the money (taps the gun on the register to indicate that he wants money(no dialogue)), Alfred wakes up suddenly and looks around confused, the robber gives it another attempt and leans over towards Alfred, yelling on him to open the register. Alfred’s eyes opens in astonishment as he realize what was happening, he looks over to the register and tries to open it, but fail to remember the code. Alfred stops his frantic attempt and tries to remember the password, but slowly Alfred’s look goes from a thinking expression to slowly closing and Alfred dozes off again. The robber looks at Alfred in astonishment, looks down at his watch and is really inpatient, this is taking too long. He franticly hits the register and attempts to forces it open, he’s able to open a small crack in the register and put his fingers into it to get a better grip, the sound of the struggling robber wakes up Alfred and as he wakes up he hits out with his arms and hits the register so it closes on the robbers fingers. (Alfred is in shock that he stuck the robber’s fingers, and tries to help him out while apologizing, not yet fully grasping what is going on)

Two policemen enters the store conversation with each other, the robber freaks out and makes a lot of noise as he struggles to get his hand out of the register. The policemen look over to find the source of the noise and runs over to arrest the robber. (One arrest him other is shaking Alfred’s hand, Alfred is still looking confused around him. The costumers clapping.)